She's called Hamish
by TimelordSlayerDetective
Summary: When Sherlock bring's home a baby stolen from a crime scene John's bit shocked, but when Sherlock claims it the key to solving the crime John unwilling allows it to stay in 221B. But the baby is something that neither John or Sherlock are ready for. It brings how close they actually are under scrutiny and pushes the boundaries of their patience. It's a case and a parentlock.
1. Chapter 1

AN- This is my first fansfic, please tell me if it's rubbish and if there's anything you want to happen I try and weave it in to the plot. Thank for reading. Hugs and Kisses. xxxxxxxxx

John glanced up as Sherlock walked in to the room in and was about to say hello when he noticed the bundle in his arms, his curiosity spiked and then he worried.

"Hi Sher- What have you got there?" John's voice had an accusing edge to it "What have you done now?

Sherlock ignored John's dull questions and started to walk to the kitchen avoiding eye contact, he had hoped would be less observant than usual but he wasn't sure that was even possible. John raised his voice know that his friend had heard him.

"Sherlock?!"

Sherlock turned around doing his fake smile as he tried to decide what to say to John.

"John I need your" Sherlock paused looking for the right word "Expertise."

John looked suspiciously at Sherlock trying to work out what he wanted, he glanced at the bundle in Sherlock's arms again.

"If you want me to take part in one of your highly dangerous, pointless, not to mention irresponsible experiments think again. You'll have to find another lab rat."

Sherlock pulled his annoyed face "Science is not irresponsible and none of my experiments are pointless, my experiments are however at this moment irrelevant. Now as I was trying to tell you earlier I need your expertise, John what do you know about infants?"

John spat his tea back in to his mug and looked again at the bundle in Sherlock's arms.

"Where did- Who have you taken it off? Sherlock people don't just come home with babies!" John managed to splutter out.

Sherlock looked at John with what some might describe as distain, he had hypothesised that John would over react less because he had been living with him for a few years and had got used to his habits, Sherlock concluded that he had been wrong.

"I am not people. I took it from a crime scene," Sherlock raised a hand to stop John speaking "it's mother and father are dead, yes it was murder, Lestrade didn't know about it while I was there the homeless network told me, I had the crime scene to myself, there was no evidence, the killer was meticulous and there was nothing apart from the two bodies with the small stab wound in their chest, the baby is the only witness and we are keeping it until it can make a statement and hopefully lead us to the killer. Has that answered all your questions?"

John nodded, keeping a straight face for as long as possible until he cracked and started laughing. Sherlock looked puzzled and then gave John a scathing look when he realised he was laughing at him.

"Yes John it's very funny, hilarious, I glad the key to solving the crime has amused you so much. We only have to keep it until it can talk, which I hoping will be in a few days' time and then it can give a statement so I can work out the rest and tell the police what happened."

John tried to keep his face serious but there was still mirth in his voice.

"What are we going tell Lestrade?"

Sherlock looked at him and they both started giggling, when they recovered John reached for the baby so that he could have a look at it. He studied its face, it had curled black hair and blue-green eyes and it looked remarkably like Sherlock. He check to see if it was a boy or a girl and groaned when he saw it was a girl, he had no idea how to raise a baby girl, because of course it wasn't going to learn to talk in a few days like Sherlock expected. And she needed a name. John saw Sherlock looking at him and realised he had been thinking out loud.

"Wonderful observations John, it is as you said similar looking to be but it is not as you suspect mine, yes it is a girl but I thought all children were raised the same anyway. I propose we call it Hamish as you were so willing to suggest it as a baby name when Ms Adler was visiting and we tell Lestrade it is my niece." Sherlock said, it was clear to John he had already decided on this and was just telling him rather than asking, he had known Sherlock long enough to know that.

"You can't call it Hamish it's a girl although I assume people will just thing it's another one of your family's weird names." John added the last bit teasingly.

Sherlock's phone started to ring.

"Lestrade…double homicide, I heard…hair like mine at the scene? It is mine…yes I've already been there…I was passing by…I don't care about Anderson, you really should fire him he's an idiot…There's no point and I have to look after my niece…I wasn't dumped on me…John's helping…Hamish…no goodbye Lestrade."

Sherlock looked at John "Lestrade's coming you need to dress Hamish."

John shook his head "Oh no, you brought her here she is your responsibly."

John held the baby out to Sherlock and chuckling at the face he made.

"Fine! I don't need your help anyway."

Sherlock practically snatched the baby from John, jostling it awake. John was surprised that Sherlock had snapped and then realised that he had meant what he said, Sherlock really did need Johns help, he was just reaching out for it when Lestrade arrived followed by Mycroft. John knew he shouldn't be surprised that Mycroft was there, he knew he bugged their phones and had them under constant surveillance. Lestrade spoke first.

"I didn't think you two would be telling the truth about having a baby but still congratulations you two." There was a mocking smile on his lips.

Sherlock ignored him.

"Brother dear, I should have known you would be listening to my phone calls. Spying on me, I would like to say I expected better but I didn't."

"And I would have liked to have known I had a niece sooner, still I would like to know the name of the woman who captured your heart," Mycroft smiled wryly

"And how you managed to evade my surveillance."

Sherlock paused for a moment. "It's not mine Mycroft you really are getting slow, it doesn't even look like me."

Mycroft looked at his watch "Well I must leave I'm afraid the Luxembourg- never mind. Remember to tell be next time you have a child appear."

Without further talk he left. Lestrade stared at the baby Sherlock was holding at arm's length.

"You really chose to look after the baby?" Lestrade shook his head.

"Yes now if you're just going to question me then leave." Sherlock turned his back on him.

"What about the case? Any theories?"

"No. Leave."


	2. Chapter 2

AN- Second Chapter :) it's up quite fast but that mainly because I'm on holiday and I have nothing else to do all day because I have no life. Hope you enjoy, please tell me if it's rubbish, thanks to those to favorited, followed and reviewed. There will be more of the case later I felt it was a necessary chapter. Once again tell me if there are any moments you want weaving in to the plot. Hugs and kisses

"I don't see why I have to be here" Sherlock said looking around in disgust at the aisles of nappies, baby formula and toys he was faced with angry at John for dragging him out when he wanted to work on his new experiment and clear useless information out of his mind palace. Like the fact that babies needed to be fed regular, little and often; Sherlock wasn't sure why John had told him that useless fact, he had no intention of looking after the baby, that was John's job.

It's was John's turn to ignore him as he started to walk up the aisle.

"Hurry up Sherlock, we have to go to Mothercare afterwards, oh don't look like that I'm not the one who brought the baby home out of the blue when we are most definitely not equipped to look after a baby!"

John stopped his outburst when he realised that a woman further down the aisle was staring at them, his voice had risen steadily as he talked so by the end of the sentence he was shouting.

"I'm sorry please excuse us," John looked pointedly at Sherlock. "We're rather new to all of this and we were wondering, that is if you don't mind…"

John trailed off only to have Sherlock continue.

"Would you tell us what to buy, what would you recommend? Please"

She just stared at them for a moment. The woman sighed, she had been hoping for a quick shopping trip and wanted to say no but she saw how out of their depth they were and relented, she was just about to begin when the shorter blond one said something about deleting to the other. She realised that they were just holding the baby in their arms and wondered how they had got out of the hospital, she had been trapped there for three days until her baby carrier had arrived, they didn't even have a baby bag. The baby started crying.

"John make it stop" the taller, dark haired one snapped "or I'll have to get rid of it, I can't work with it making racket!"

The smaller man looked at him looked at him like he was stupid.

"It was your idea and its part of the 'work'"

A smile curled on his at the last word. He bounced the baby around until it calmed down.

"How old is he?" The woman interrupted wanting to get home.

The blond man looked to the other.

"How old is Hamish?"

The taller man shrugged

"How am I supposed to know? I'll get Molly to look her age up next time we go to the morgue if ot bothers you"

The woman still looked shocked. "I'm guessing 'she's' about three months, going by the size of her." She carried on. "The cheapest nappies leak, these are the best value," she picked up two packets and put them in the basket, "it's best to start with two packets and buy another one when one runs out, that way you'll always have enough. Formula milk, cow and gate ok but I'd go with SMA because it's easier to mix, buy it the same way as the nappies, you just mix it with water. It only needs to be body temperature." She added the last part as a precaution. "Stock pile wet wipes." She forced a smile. "Do you have anything at home?"

The men shook their heads.

"You need at least three to four baby grows, one or two hats, ten socks they get lost really easily, bibs for later on. A cot, highchair, changing bag, changing table, bottle with teat lids, a bottle steriliser, blankets, a sleeping bag, a pillow, baby cream, baby soap, sudocream, nasal douche, play mat or area, toys, baby monitor, a baby food maker, carrier, shoes, books to read to it, soft towels, blankets and a pushchair." The woman walked away.

The two man looked at each other and then at the few items they already had.

"We're going to need a bigger house to fit all that in."

Both men started laughing.

An hour later the shop assistant was busy drilling the merits of different types of pushchair in to them, the pushchair was the last item on Sherlock's mental shopping list and he just wished the woman would shut up and let them pick what they wanted in peace.

"Just leave us alone please, we can pick a pushchair without your useless input thank you very much."

The woman looked offended and then just walked away. They picked up the one that adapted as the child grows and went to the checkout. They had things that weren't on the list, they picked up things that the woman recommended just to get her to stop talking. They could monitor the Hamish's heart rate, temperature and breathing as she slept and watch her on the baby monitor, Sherlock was looking forward to an experiment to find out what altered Hamish's sleep pattern (not that he had told John about it). When all the shopping was scanned John looked at the price and did a double take before looking at Sherlock his eyes making what he wanted clear, Sherlock grudgingly paid the bill.

Once they managed to get everything in to taxi and they were on the way home, Sherlock let out a breath.

"That woman was insufferable, she tried to sound clever but she was an idiot and she wouldn't stop talking"

John laughed then thought out loud, "What's Mrs Hudson going to say?"

Both men started giggling and even Hamish started to make a noise that almost sounded like laughing.


End file.
